iT's All AbOuT ME . . . hachi

Hachi... a japanese term for the number eight -my precious digit- wonderin' what's too great about it well it is my birth symbol and has given me propitious luck for all the competitions i've joined since grade school -so it really is a big deal for me- (",) this spot would give a tad of myself, the stuff i love and dislike, everything in tad... & hopefully when i already fulfilled my aspirations in life, i could give their importance in totality not just in tads...

Monday, August 08, 2005

a tad of my birthday thoughts

Ni Ju Ichi

Eight things that I am thankful for in this special day:

1. Another blessed year given to me to experience the wonderful things that life can offer
2. My ever loving and supportive grandma
3. My crazy boyfriend who does everything just to make me smile
4. The rare time that my mom was able to give me to make me feel her love after such a long time
5. The contentment and gratefulness I feel in my life
6. The greetings and the thoughtfulness that goes with it
7. The love and concern I feel from the people around me
8. The appreciation and happiness I felt from a lot of unexpected people that gave me warmth and uplifted my spirit

Watashiwa ni ju ichi sai desu.

Tuesday, June 28, 2005

a tad of what i miss. . .

Nostalgia (6/25/25 12:54PM)

The thought of longing for my U.P. life has never been a big deal for me until now. The four years that passed, the so-called survival period for every isko and iska, is worth reminiscing. From the moment I heard the news that I passed the UPCAT, the time when I received the official letter from the University, the first day of enrolment, the time I got my official U.P. I.D. and the first time that I got into the real world from my secluded life. Everything was worth it from all the hardships, heartaches, pressures and haggard days just to survive in the Diliman jungle. And how can I forget my apartment days, our girlish drinking bouts, our sleepless nights because one of us had her heart broken, our martyr attitudes, our shocking revelations, our kilig moments and our surprisingly funny drunk habits. I really miss these girls. This was the place where I realized that those that came from provinces were more sincere and more honest in the friendship that they get involved into than those from the metro. These were the people who supported and cried with me all through out, no questions asked, no doubts, no nothing.

The love I found in that jungle gave me one hell of a ride, from the toughest moment to the most romantic unexpected occasions. It all started with a group work. This was one of the situations where friends of friends get to know each other, never knowing that they would end up loving each other and making it last. It’s funny how I still recall and have a feel of it. This was also the phase of my life when I really got hurt by the person I love, had been silly with the actions I made after, had been denial and vengeful for some time and finally going back to that same person regardless of what had happened but regardful of the love I had for him and vice versa. From all the odds that we faced together, the love we have for each other and the help of God to strengthen our relationship, we are still together and hoping to make it last forever.


U.P. might be irritable for some people with all the stereotypes attached to it from the time it was founded but I could tell that it is a worthy place to get educated. It would practically teach you everything you have to know about life implicitly from the time you set your first footstep into it up to time that you set your last. Now that I already left, I am yearning to go back. I would definitely do everything to go back to that same old jungle and spend another phase of my intellectual nurturing with a more mature understanding of life and everything that goes with it.

a tad from my work

Waggish (6/25/05 12:15PM)

Simple things that make me smile at work:

Ichi – my boyfriend’s daily routine of messages before I go to work
Ni – my grandma’s scrumptious breakfast
San – my uncle’s emails when I’m about to cry for the piles of work to be done
Yon – the security guards at the academe that always think that I’m a student

even if they see me everyday with the badge for employees
Go – some incidents where instructors asked me if I was a freshman or a

high school student
Roku – some delicacies given by my boss after a favor asked, makes me feel

that my work is appreciated
Nana – my grandma’s indefatigable enthusiasm to cheer me up after a hard

day’s work
Hachi – Weekends, time to spend some quality time with my boyfriend

Saturday, June 11, 2005

a tad of my soft side

Tay (06-11-05 11:55PM)

“Tay”, this is how I call my dad. The person where I got almost all the features and traits that I possess, from my physical appearance to some of my attitudes, my philosophy on life and even to the most simple habit of brushing my teeth. To cut it short, I am practically the female version of him. God knows how much I miss him. I’m just regretful that I wasn’t able to show him how much I love him. If I only knew that he would leave at a very young age. I know I shouldn’t have given in to my jealousy. I should have showed him my concern even if I felt a bit abandoned by him in some of the high points of my life. But it was too late for all these realizations, he already left. I feel guilty for all my shortcomings. If I could only turn back the hands of time, I will make my family as happy and contented as possible no matter how low profiled. But that’s not how it was since I grew up in a broken family. May be God has a plan for every single detail that happened in my life. I know that there is an important reason for everything. I might not be able to fulfill my obligations to him as his daughter when he was still here but I’m doing my best to please him in everything that I do to have the kind of life he used to plan for me. It is very hard for me to accept the fact that he is already gone but I have to. At least he is now at peace wherever he might be. He is no longer burdened by the worries of life. I know he is watching over me. I feel it. It’s just sad that he first have to leave before I was able to feel his great importance in my life. I’m still hurt by his sudden death. I still cry when I miss him. I still even wish for the times when he would not show up for years at least I know he is still alive unlike now that he would not show up anymore.

“Tay, I love you so much. I really miss you. I wish you’re still here. I would treat you for dinner with my first salary. Father’s day is near and I wasn’t able to buy you something for your office wardrobe or even just anything. I miss you a lot. I know Nanay still loves you. I felt it on the day of your burial. I just hope that you are happy wherever you are right now. I’m sorry for all my shortcomings. Please forgive me. Please don’t think that I do not love you. I might not be able to show you what I really feel because of certain reasons but I love you so much ‘tay. I really do. I hope you felt it when I hugged you just before they lay you down to your final rest. I miss you so much. I love you. Happy Father’s Day ‘Tay.”

a tad of my fears

The Thought of Dying (06-05-05 8:08PM)

A few days before I started working, my family, my boyfriend’s brothers and I had our last summer dip. We went to the clubhouse of my boyfriend’s place. We spent the whole afternoon swimming like there’s no tomorrow. My cousin and I really enjoyed that swim since we were frustrated from our family summer thing. I was really happy that day. It was the first time I made my mom agreed to go in an outing with my boyfriend. The experience was overwhelming that I didn’t mind getting exhausted. The thought of my boyfriend and my mom being in good terms with each other in a pleasant afternoon for a family thing like this one was a dream came true for me. It was that same night though when I felt like I was dying. I realized that I swam too much, forgetting the fact that I wasn’t that fit to exhaust myself that much. That was the first time when I got scared of the thought of dying. I came to the realization that I was not yet ready to die. I still wanted to do a lot of things. I still wanted to achieve a lot of my goals. I still wanted to experience a happy and contented career and family life. I also realized how hard it was to leave the world behind you when you haven’t settled everything for your loved ones. I felt sorry for myself. . .

I slept alone in my room that night, I felt my whole body ached so I went to my grandma’s room and asked her to massage my aching body. I went back to my room afterwards. I wasn’t able to sleep and around 4am I found it difficult to breathe. My body wouldn’t allow any kind of movement because a slight movement hurt like hell. At first, I tried to endure the pain for I didn’t want to bother my mom and my grandma from their sleep. When I felt really terrible, scared and all. I tried my best to go down again to my grandma’s room where my mom was also sleeping that night. I thought I would die that morning. I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t move and my body ached terribly. It seemed like I went down for a purpose. It came to me that if I was about to die that exact moment, I didn’t want to die alone. I wanted my mom and my grandma to be by my side even for the last time. I thought of calling my boyfriend but I hesitated since I can hardly breathe I would also find it difficult to talk besides I left my mobile phone upstairs. It was also too early I didn’t want to interrupt his sleep. I knew that he was as tired as I was and if I was really about to die then I didn’t want to leave him in sorrow and guilt. At least at that exact moment I knew I left him with happy thoughts. I was certain that he was very happy being with me and my family the whole afternoon. I didn’t want to spoil the feeling and to make him worry about my situation. Around 6am, I was able to sleep.

When I woke up, I called my boyfriend and told him what had happened. He got mad as I expected. He was the type of person who would want to be beside the person he loves no matter what. I explained my reasons but he still insisted his side. I found out that he was uneasy that night. May be in one way or another he felt that something wrong was happening to me. It was so ironic that it was also the same day at that exact moment when I couldn’t breathe that one of his friends died of a car accident. For some reasons I thought that may be that guy saved me from dying. I didn’t know why I actually thought of that. May be that was just how I felt. . .

Friday, May 20, 2005

a tad of the "real" me

Anyway by Mother Teresa

People are often unreasonable,
illogical and self-centered;
Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind,
People may accuse you
of selfish, ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway.

If you are successful,
you will win some false friends and
some true enemies;
Succeed anyway. Be frank,
people may cheat you;
Be honest and frank anyway.

What you spend years building,
someone could destroy overnight;
Build anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness,
they may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.

The good you do today,
people will often forget tomorrow;
Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have,
and it may never be enough;
Give the world the best you’ve got anyway.

You see, in the final analysis.
It is between you and God;
It is never between you and them anyway.

Saturday, May 14, 2005

a tad of me

My First Job-Hunting Experience

I never thought looking for a job could be so tiring, challenging and demanding at the same time. It is tiring because corporations and institutions would require you to come back to their offices almost every day for different tests and interviews. Challenging because you have to prove to them that you are worthy of the position among all the other applicants. Lastly, it is also demanding because it requires you to invest your time, money and knowledge in all the requirements needed to get the job. Receiving a call from an institution who is highly respected and also known as one of the leading business schools in the metro is such an honor for a fresh graduate like me. I applied for a job vacancy in that institution a week before my graduation with a very distinct job from my language and literature background. Since I really want to work there, I tried my luck and luckily they considered me in their short listed applicants. I received their call in the afternoon a day before my graduation for the exam and interview schedule. So the following week after my graduation was really booked for the exams and job interviews. I woke up very early that Monday morning for the scheduled exam and interview. I was nervous and excited at the same time since this is now for real. When I got there I was the first applicant to arrive and I felt good for that since I considered that as an advantage among the other applicants. It was very cold in that office, good thing I wore comfortable clothes that suited the coldness and the corporate atmosphere in that office though it is really an educational institution. The exam took for three hours; it was like answering an entrance exam for college with the essay questions, diagnostic type of tests and the allotted time for each part of the test. The coldness of the office left my fingers numb after finishing the exam. I was scheduled for the interview the next day. I was a bit relieved for that since I don’t want to have my first job interview with an empty stomach, drained brain and tired fingers. The next day was pretty much the same, it was like an interview described to me by my friend who is studying in that institution except that it was for a job position. After my first interview they told me that they would call me if I would have another interview with the department that I applied for or the other way around. I was quite nervous after that since that could mean a job found or a job lost. But I also felt very thankful that I took up English Studies in the University of the Philippines since I was able to finish my first job interview pretty well with the mindfulness of a language major in avoiding code switching as much as possible in the whole part of the interview and I think I was able to do that. Two days after that interview I received their call again but they told me that I was not accepted by the department that I applied for since my educational background was very distinct from the nature of the job. I was a bit sad but before I nearly lost hope in working for that institution they also told me that they referred me to another position that is associated to my field and scheduled me for another interview in that college. After my second job interview, I was instructed to come back for another interview with the head of the college in that institution. And as I expected that was my last interview for that position, I guess everything went well since after that they already gave me the pre-employment requirements. I felt impassive that day may be because I can’t believe that I was actually hired and I am no longer a student but a-soon-to-be-wage earner. Sometimes I really have late reactions with the things that happen to me whether they are good or bad. I was like this since my dad passed away because honestly up to now I still can’t believe that he’s actually gone. But don’t get me wrong, I know that he’s gone and happy wherever he is right now, it’s just that I feel sad that he was not able to see these progress in his only daughter’s life. But I’m also happy that my mom, grandmas and uncles are all here for me, witnessing and supporting me in all these with a similar piece of advice to not think of getting married yet. Going back with the pre-employment requirements, answering all those forms and having my medical check-up really made me realize that I am a grown-up now, no longer the old spoiled kid that I was before. Since after graduation, my mom wanted me to be on my own and to establish myself from what I have after graduation except that I still live with them and should still strictly follow the house rules. Two days after the medical check-up, I was asked to repeat one of the tests for me to be considered physically able for the position. I was worried because I had no idea of what went wrong plus the fact that the last medical check-up I had was before I entered college. So I had that test repeated and they told me that they will call me again for the result and feedback. It’s almost a week since I had that repeated test; I was starting to lose hope of getting that job since they normally call me two days after any interview or medical tests. Luckily, I received their call this morning asking me if I could start on Monday. Of course I said yes and told the good news to my mom, grandma, uncles and house helper. I hope this could be a good start. Thanks to God, my parents and relatives, and most especially to UP and all my professors. Thank you so much.

05-14-05 2:52PM

a tad of summer

A Summer Adversity (05-08-2005 8:08PM)

It was a lovely Saturday morning for my family. Everything seemed to be impeccable. My cousin and I were so excited for the planned family day out. We chose our favorite swimwear and summer clothes, prepared all the essential toiletries, slept and got up early for the much awaited day out. We were so damn excited to finally have a taste of summer after all the stressful yet blissful happenings in each of our dramatic sometimes impassive lives. We had a scrumptious breakfast, prepared all the necessary things and went early to the place. Unfortunately the place was reserved for a company outing so we just decided to go somewhere else. Honestly, my cousin and I were so pissed off with the turn of events that day. It could have been a delightful weekend for my family if we had spent it with the place we really got excited and planned to have the family thingy. *sigh* :( The place that we went to was too far different from the one we really planned for. The place and the pools were smaller, the crowd were too much different, the food, the parking area, the cleanliness of the water, the washrooms, I could go on and on with my list of comparisons and end up being more frustrated. Everything was really disappointing. It’s a good thing that the place was not too far that we were able to get home early. But guess what, when we got home our phone had no dial tone, another telephone line glitch in our place. Another adverse happening for that day, may be that day was really not for us. . . :(

Monday, May 02, 2005

Bliss

The Big Day

My college graduation gave me an overwhelming experience. It was a big day for me. Realization of a lot of things occurred to me that day… It made me realize of the importance of education, sounds corny but true. It might be a very banal remark that I hear from my parents since the day they sent me to school but it’s worth it. Experiencing the bliss of the moment, wearing the perfect dress for the event with the UP sablay, being with the most important people in my life, hearing my name called, receiving the college medallion, singing the U.P. hymn and reciting the U.P. Alumni Oath gave me an unexplainable happiness and fear at the same time. Happiness because finally after all the hard work, the sleepless nights, the sacrificed meals, the school expenses and the lack of time for my family and my significant other I graduated on time and now ready to face the real world with its high-cost-of-living. Fear because of the huge responsibility that I am assumed to accept. Fear of finding the real importance of myself in my family, society and career that I chose to take. Fear of the struggles that I would definitely encounter in entering adulthood. Fear of not meeting the expectations of the people who believes in me. Fear of having and raising my own family in the future because of the high-cost-of-living. Basically fearing the future, where the transition between a student’s life and a career woman’s life would really be felt. The fact that I’m now on my own scares me a bit because it indicates that I can no longer depend on my mom rather I’m obliged to depend on myself and establish everything from what I have after college graduation. Hopefully the big day of my college graduation would lead me to a big happy contented life in the future. I might have a lot of fears but being trained in an educational institution like U.P., with all its academic standards and alluring temptations that every student should overcome, I think I could, I hope I could, face and overcome all my fears and live a successful career woman’s life.

05/02/05 4:54PM

Sunday, April 24, 2005

U.P. NAMING MAHAL

U.P. NAMING MAHAL
PAMANTASANG HIRANG
ANG TINIG NAMIN
SANA'Y IYONG DINGGIN
MALAYONG LUPAIN
AMIN MANG MARATING
DI RIN MAGBABAGO ANG DAMDAMIN
DI RIN MAGBABAGO ANG DAMDAMIN

LUNTIAN AT PULA
SAGISAG MAGPAKAILAN MAN
PAGDIWANG NATIN
BULWAGAN NG DANGAL
HUMAYO'T ITANGHAL
GITING AT TAPANG
MABUHAY ANG PAG-ASA NG BAYAN
MABUHAY ANG PAG-ASA NG BAYAN

finally! this is for real. Posted by Hello

soOoOoO in-love. . . Posted by Hello

just perfect! ;-) Posted by Hello

CAL Graduation 2005 Posted by Hello

@ FC, CAL Graduation 2005 Posted by Hello

@ AS Parking Lot, CAL Graduation 2005 Posted by Hello