a tad of my soft side
Tay (06-11-05 11:55PM)
“Tay”, this is how I call my dad. The person where I got almost all the features and traits that I possess, from my physical appearance to some of my attitudes, my philosophy on life and even to the most simple habit of brushing my teeth. To cut it short, I am practically the female version of him. God knows how much I miss him. I’m just regretful that I wasn’t able to show him how much I love him. If I only knew that he would leave at a very young age. I know I shouldn’t have given in to my jealousy. I should have showed him my concern even if I felt a bit abandoned by him in some of the high points of my life. But it was too late for all these realizations, he already left. I feel guilty for all my shortcomings. If I could only turn back the hands of time, I will make my family as happy and contented as possible no matter how low profiled. But that’s not how it was since I grew up in a broken family. May be God has a plan for every single detail that happened in my life. I know that there is an important reason for everything. I might not be able to fulfill my obligations to him as his daughter when he was still here but I’m doing my best to please him in everything that I do to have the kind of life he used to plan for me. It is very hard for me to accept the fact that he is already gone but I have to. At least he is now at peace wherever he might be. He is no longer burdened by the worries of life. I know he is watching over me. I feel it. It’s just sad that he first have to leave before I was able to feel his great importance in my life. I’m still hurt by his sudden death. I still cry when I miss him. I still even wish for the times when he would not show up for years at least I know he is still alive unlike now that he would not show up anymore.
“Tay, I love you so much. I really miss you. I wish you’re still here. I would treat you for dinner with my first salary. Father’s day is near and I wasn’t able to buy you something for your office wardrobe or even just anything. I miss you a lot. I know Nanay still loves you. I felt it on the day of your burial. I just hope that you are happy wherever you are right now. I’m sorry for all my shortcomings. Please forgive me. Please don’t think that I do not love you. I might not be able to show you what I really feel because of certain reasons but I love you so much ‘tay. I really do. I hope you felt it when I hugged you just before they lay you down to your final rest. I miss you so much. I love you. Happy Father’s Day ‘Tay.”
“Tay”, this is how I call my dad. The person where I got almost all the features and traits that I possess, from my physical appearance to some of my attitudes, my philosophy on life and even to the most simple habit of brushing my teeth. To cut it short, I am practically the female version of him. God knows how much I miss him. I’m just regretful that I wasn’t able to show him how much I love him. If I only knew that he would leave at a very young age. I know I shouldn’t have given in to my jealousy. I should have showed him my concern even if I felt a bit abandoned by him in some of the high points of my life. But it was too late for all these realizations, he already left. I feel guilty for all my shortcomings. If I could only turn back the hands of time, I will make my family as happy and contented as possible no matter how low profiled. But that’s not how it was since I grew up in a broken family. May be God has a plan for every single detail that happened in my life. I know that there is an important reason for everything. I might not be able to fulfill my obligations to him as his daughter when he was still here but I’m doing my best to please him in everything that I do to have the kind of life he used to plan for me. It is very hard for me to accept the fact that he is already gone but I have to. At least he is now at peace wherever he might be. He is no longer burdened by the worries of life. I know he is watching over me. I feel it. It’s just sad that he first have to leave before I was able to feel his great importance in my life. I’m still hurt by his sudden death. I still cry when I miss him. I still even wish for the times when he would not show up for years at least I know he is still alive unlike now that he would not show up anymore.
“Tay, I love you so much. I really miss you. I wish you’re still here. I would treat you for dinner with my first salary. Father’s day is near and I wasn’t able to buy you something for your office wardrobe or even just anything. I miss you a lot. I know Nanay still loves you. I felt it on the day of your burial. I just hope that you are happy wherever you are right now. I’m sorry for all my shortcomings. Please forgive me. Please don’t think that I do not love you. I might not be able to show you what I really feel because of certain reasons but I love you so much ‘tay. I really do. I hope you felt it when I hugged you just before they lay you down to your final rest. I miss you so much. I love you. Happy Father’s Day ‘Tay.”
posted by Ana @ 9:36 PM
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